Friday, April 30, 2010

a day well spent

Do you ever feel like it just takes forever to get things done. Especially when you add children into the mix. We have been in this home officially for two years this month. Where has the time gone, really! We were getting things really moving last summer when it all broke loose with Taylie's diagnosis of cancer. Things were put on hold. Now we are home and it is time for grass, and a fence, and garden and dog kennel.......!

Right before it snowed a bunch of our neighbors decided to give us a helping hand and get the sprinklers put in. I was down at the hospital so I only got to see the finished product. It was so awesome how fast it was done. They all just hit it hard and it was a really nice thing to have done. This made it so great to not have to worry about this part of it. The list still seems so endless and you all know it just costs MONEY!!!

No worries though, we are putting in a Money Tree so that should help out....LoL!!!

Rocks always seem to just keep popping up all the time and that make endless raking and shoveling. If you don't hurry then the weeds will get the best of you too!

Just a few shots of the house...Getting ready for some curbingGetting a few things planted early. Ohhh, I can't wait for the produce. Last year we planted the garden and had to let all the neighborhood enjoy the fruits. We were just glad that it didn't go to waste.We still have to actually finish the house. A whole wall of rock that still needs to be done, Tongue and Groove sealing as well. That's what I get because I married a mason. He knows how to do it so well, but we are the last on the list when it comes to getting it done. Someday before we sell it hopefully.

This was Sunnie's first time to play in the dirt. Like my other two she absolutely loved every minute of it! Don't ya just love her outfit. Yes I put her in this. It was Monday so of course we are in our orange. Plus you just can't wear good clothes out in the dirt. It was funny though because I wasn't thinking about what old stuff I was putting on her. When I finally got a good look at her I all I could do was laugh. That's my Soda!Gotta have the dogs out too. Wouldn't make a complete Family night without them :)
We sure do love to go outside. My girls love it. Love it so much that this is the response I get when I say, "it's time to go inside!"

It never takes long to convince them of a nice tubber time. My girls love the tub almost as well as the outside.

Then it's a fast trip to Maverick for some hamburger buns.All tubbed and jammied we work on filling up the hungry tummies! Taylie loves her hamburgers. Just don't forget the bacon. That's my girls!One goes with Mom and stops outside to tell Daddy Night Night,One gets her hands on popcorn and eats the whole thing,One winds down with a movie and a homemade bed on the floor,and one just crashes! The last one works till he can't see to work anymore.
Finally we are all inside together to read some stories

.....and with that we end a fabulous day very well spent :-) Sure is nice to be at home!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

...no words

Isn't he just the cutest!

...that's all.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

living life

What happens when you play and live life as hard as you possibly can....

You have to stop and recharge the batteries!

Ever since Taylie has been freed from the hospital and of her Leukemia Cancer she has just embraced life to it's fullest. Everyday she has so much drive to be and to do all that she hadn't been able to do while she was sick.

Dragging her side kick along every step of the way.

Living Life to it's fullest!!!

Lessons

Upon my return back into my normal world I was pulled aside the other day. I am a substitute Relief Society teacher and that soon was going to change. They wanted me to be a full time teacher. Normally this would scare me to pieces. Don't get me wrong it still makes me nervous. I can do this though, because I need it more than anyone! I have made a lot of improvement in how I live my life spiritually. I have such a long way to go, but I finally have realized so much. I am thankful for this chance to grow even more! Funny how life's trails can do this to you!

Today the lesson I taught was on: School thy feelings, oh my Brother!

It was on controlling our anger and emotions.

Having experienced life in the cancer world I have felt all kinds of feelings and emotions. Anger definitely being one of them. I rose above it though. I took this horrible thing and allowed to to change me. To make me better. Better with my children. Better with my life. Better with how I thought and cared about others. I came to know and trust my Savior Jesus Christ more than I ever have before.

I've learned about the atonement. I've learned how to apply it personally to me. You'd think that after all that I have gone through with my Taylie I would never allow myself to get angry with her. The very thought of losing her alone scares me. I want to cherish every moment I have been given with her. And not only her, but my other beautiful girls, Mayzi and Sunnie. Let's not forget my dear Husband, Bret. You'd think also with all the time we had to spend away from each other would make us want to make every minute count all the time.

As I have been trying to adjust back to my normal world, normal as not living in the hospital, I find myself to be quite a mess. I'm so wrapped up in so many things. It truly has been such a hard transition for me. I thought that If I could just get home that everything would be so good. I would be able to take all that I have come to know. All the trust I have been able to have in my Savior and just ride on through the hard times. What could be harder that what I just went through?

Silly me, oh silly me! Have I not learned anything?

Over the past two weeks as I have had the opportunity to study and read and ponder on this wonderful talk given by our beloved Prophet, Thomas S. Monson. It has not been easy for me to really look and analyze myself and how I really am as a person, as a mother, as a friend.

It's surprised me just how many times I have given in to Satan's tool of anger. How many times I let myself get angry. Angry over sometimes the simplest things. Why do I get mad with my kids? Why have I allowed myself to drop down to a level where even one month ago I swore I would never go.

Because Satan is so real. He is trying his hardest to make me feel like I'm a failure. Like I'm a mess. I've been putting way to much effort into the things that don't really matter. Things that I thought never could even compare to what I held dear in my heart. I thought I had it all figured out.

I have learned a very humbling lesson. I still need all the help I can get. I know where I can get it too. I need to keep on trusting. Trusting in Jesus Christ. For he is the reason I am here today in one piece. How dare I lose that trust.

"Anger doesn't solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything!"

Who did I teach today?

Really, myself!

I am only human. I feel also like I have been through a lot. There is no excuse. I know what I should be doing. I need to take myself back to the start when I felt like everything I had was such a beautiful gift. Like I would never want to take anything for granted ever again.

The Lord is so mindful of us all. He knows what we need. Today I needed to give a lesson. Today I start anew to apply that lesson.

Friday, April 23, 2010

fair

Fair. What does that mean? As a Mother I am constantly being told, "that's not fair!" It's not fair that we have to pick up someone else's messes. It's not fair that we have to wait our turn sometimes. It's not fair that someone got something that I didn't get. The list is endless of all the not Fair things that happen.

What about Life. What's fair then? It's not fair that someone has a better job than we have. It's not fair that some one's house is bigger than ours. It's not fair that some people can have kids of their own and some have to adopt. It's not fair that we have to experience hard things. It's not fair that people get hurt. It's not fair that people have to die. It's not fair that hard things happen to good people and nothing happens to bad people. Things are just plain not fair.

It's an emotion easily felt.

Things not being fair.

How do we understand or at least try to make sense of it all?

We've been in an interesting situation over the last 8 months as we just finished up our first Cancer treatment. We had to become a part of a sad world of cancer. I feel like we've experienced something very unfair. Why couldn't it have been someone else. After being placed into this so unfair life of Cancer I have lived and learned and experienced much.

I realized that:

Someone else did get cancer.

That someone turned into many others.

Those many others have been through worse.

Some have had it a little bit better.

Many and most are still fighting.

Some of the best have lost the fight.

The Fight of something that is not fair.

It's not fair to experience this all. Having to meet others. Others who share in this Cancer life along with us. Others that we love and care for deeply. Others that have touched our lives for good.

How do you make sense of it all? Is it fair that some gets to win? Is it fair that some get to celebrate life when others have to mourn loss?

I don't have all the answers because I too say it's not fair. It's not fair that I can't know what life might send our way. It's not fair that I get to be one to celebrate life when my friends have to mourn loss.

Fair or not life keeps happening. The good, the bad and the worse.

It's how we react to all our unfair moments that defines us all.

....if only


Don't you just wish this could be you....all day every day!


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hot Dogs Anyone?

The nights are getting just a little bit warmer and spring I think has made it here finally!

Nothing beats good food and good friends gathered around the fire pit for a nice laid back hot dog roast!

After a long hard day of working out in the yard on our street we decided last minute to strike up the fire.

It was the perfect way to end a fabulous day! The only thing that could have made it a bit better would have been........

GRAS
S!!!

All in good time I guess!

On the bright side the dirt did make it feel like we were out camping or something.

This is only the beginning to a beautiful Summer full of fun and excitement ahead of us! :)



Friday, April 16, 2010

...a mess

Sometimes when I post things they always seem to turn out like I'm way positive and don't let anything get me down. In actuality I'm really a mess. The things I post are really for me. Telling myself to keep moving forward! Don't you dare give up! Breath because things are good!

Some days are just plain harder than others. For me it seems like I have my share of those hard days, as does everyone! Today is such a day. I'm struggling getting my life back together. It's so frustrating for me. I feel like a crazy Mom.

I just have to share my gratitude for you many, you know who you are, that are constantly stepping in to lend me a helping hand. You save me! My kids are always safe and taken care of like they were your own. When I'm being so spacey you seem to understand and never fault me for it. Nothing but love baby is what I have for you all!!

Today when everything was just not working inside so we went outside. I just had to leave it all and this is what I got to experience. Things really always get put back into perspective!

When we come back inside it's a mess again. Dirty hands and clothes, hungry belly's, and once again I feel way out numbered. There's just not enough Mom to go around.

I have to STOP, and tell myself:

Quit complaining.

Toughen up.

Keep trying.

Stop worrying so much.

Simplify.


Sometimes it's okay to just let it all go!

I see once more that it's all good, but I'm still a mess!!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

...Mayzi

My Mayzi

By the end of the day I think to my self...

I've have had my fill of Mayzi today!

Every room I enter she always seems to

have left her mark on it. She is way too busy for me all the time!

...but after a nice sleep, I'm ready for another day of her CRAZY!!

It's the moments like:

Watching her be a princess dancer


Catching her reading a book in her closet



Seeing her snuggling nicely with Sunnie on the sofa



Showing off her girly style with her not so girly rubber boots

Falling asleep in her swimmer suit

Clomping around in my shoes in her 10th dress of the day

These are the moments that:

make me just want to put aside all her CRAZY and soak her all up over and over again.


All I can say is...It's a good thing she is so stinkin cute!
video

Anyone for Turkey?

Anyone who gets up at 5:30 AM to go shoot a turkey is crazy in my book!

It's a good thing I like Crazy!!!

This is my way cool Bret Baby! Check out this huge Tom he shot this morning. Looks like it should be in a magazine!